New Year Greetings & Why I Have Been MIA

Hi All,

I have been MIA for the past few months, however I will be back in 2017 with major changes to the blog and its content. I hope that you all will enjoy the new direction.

Hope everyone has an amazing new year and I can’t wait to connect with you and show you all the exciting new things I have planned!

Till 2017 comes around, Be brave, be true, be you,

Liz

Survival Guide: First 7 days of a Breakup

Hey all!

As I mentioned in a previous post, I am currently going through a really tough break-up. It has been a little over a week and day-by-day I get a better handle on growing out of love. I think with acceptance and knowing that there is no hope of a future romantic relationship, the process moves along. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely still love this man, however, the nature of the breakup means that there is no way that we can be together, and even if the initial factor changes, I cannot trust him as a partner to protect and choose me. (He didn’t cheat; we were part of an inter-faith relationship, which he no longer felt he should continue).

There are still days that I cry, after all it is part of the grieving process that follows the ending of any relationship, romantic or other wise. Here are a few tips on how to survive the first week of the break-up.

1. Cry! Cry, scream, shout let it all out. Don’t be afraid of the ugly tears and screams. You will be feeling completely destroyed and distraught and would do anything at all to ease the pain or to stop feeling entirely. When that thought pops in your mind I urge you to remember, that the best way to get over the pain is to push through it. It is in these moments that you build your strength.
2. The best way over isn’t under. Your friends are probably telling you to go out on a date, see someone else and that “the best way over is under”. I have done this in the past and can assure you that if you truly want to heal and grow as a result of this breakup, then a rebound isn’t the answer. Allow the process to happen and you’ll be amazed by the person you turn out to be.
3. Write to them. I’ve been writing emails addressed to my ex ever since the break-up and truth be told each one has a different tone. The key to email/ letter writing to your ex is NOT to hit send. If you want to feel like you’ve sent it out, do what I did; create a dummy email account that you send everything to. My advice is to never let him or her read it, but that’s up to you.
4. Give time time. It’s simple, like Leona Lewis said “It all gets better in time”.
5. Practice self-care to avoid allowing bitterness to take root in your heart. Whatever makes you feel better do that thing, and do it a lot. You don’t want to send angry texts that are out of character for you that you may regret later. Vent to your friends and therapist to get over the hurt and the anger. If you hold on to it, it will hinder your growth. For me, prayer has helped tremendously throughout this process.

 

I hope you enjoyed these five steps. Oh one more thing, if you’re going to be friends with your ex make sure that the friendship is defined and that you clearly state your motives. If not, you may find yourself confused, or they may misconstrue your questions or even your friendship as something it isn’t.

 

What are your go to tips post-break up? Let me know in the comments and I’ll give a few of them a try and let you know how they’re going in a follow up blog.

 

Thank you as always for reading. Till next time, Be Brave, Be True, Be you!

-Liz